I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
