Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
