those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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