just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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