I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think your dad took our porno
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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