absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
