nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize