Will you blow on my dice?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
