In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
