Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He passed out mid-signature
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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