An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
