i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
