He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
