But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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