He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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