if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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