Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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