Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize