We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
