when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
