You made me cry and you don't even care
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
