They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
