nut hugger
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
