there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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