Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
