sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
