his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Oh god it's open bar.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
