and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize