I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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