therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
