Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
