I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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