So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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