I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize