Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
