It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
