So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
