I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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