is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
