if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
