even my farts smell like vagina
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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