You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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