honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
