i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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