But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
