She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize
