6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize