They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize