she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
