How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize