You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize