I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
