weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
