Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
