roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
