so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
