doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize