I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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