Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
