Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
