The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it's like heaven, but drunker
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You made out with two different species that night
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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