So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
