Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
