census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
