scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
