ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
