But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
