you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
